So sorry that you have such a severe reaction to any dairy. I am like that with caffeine of any kind or amount. I also have issues with too much dairy but I can rotate small amounts ( like two tablespoons) through my diet. It is best if I have a week of rotation of all histamine producing foods. I do not eat fish more than twice a week and not two days in a row. I try to have a little dairy only two days at a time and then go two days without any. Eggs are also a problem so I rotate them. I also limit tomatoes (MSG, histamine) and make my own marinara and freeze it in small quantities. Small amounts of trigger foods, rotated, works for me. I can even have a few chocolate chips or one or two bites of a chocolate dessert, twice a week. But no brewed caffeine. No brewed decaf. Too much wheat is also an issue so it is best to just rotate everything in my diet. When I was on Nortriptyline for three months, and then for a month afterwords, I was very strict with the migraine diet. Then I learned what little things I could add. I have to be really careful during the hot summer months as heat 85 degrees and above) is a big trigger for me. Taking one Allegra at night helps me with the awful ear fullness and tinnitus that I get. I have an article on this site “Comparing The Diets” (migraine, histamine, Zone Diet and Low Tannin) if you are interested. I also share this at my blog site Vertigo Tales and Tastes: S G Blog Post: COMPARE THE DIETS.
Good luck to you. None of us is carefree anymore but there are ways to control the big problems, fortunately.