Gosh, you’ve got so much going on. I’ve sat in your seat because I’ve had my own personal experience in trying to get my head around chronic mav, return to a demanding career with scope for promotion and raise young children. I spent almost a year trying to return to work with the support of a great company doctor, gp etc… And finally made the call to resign in 2017.
I learnt that trying to hold down a job with uncontrolled mav and raising two young kids with a super husband working full time was a stretch beyond what I was able to do physically and emotionally. In fact, it almost broke me mentally. Considering you’re back at work part time, this is a great achievement and you deserve a medal because you’ve managed to move forward despite a lot.
But you’ve got to really think about why you are driving to push forward with a big jump up in expectations and commitment. I think the fact that you already know on some level that it may not be the right thing now, is your body and mind raising a flag.
You must listen to this and to your supportive husband who has your best interests at heart, you are his partner and mother of his children so all he wants is the best for you. I lost a year trying to get back to work and it was awful for me and my family.
When I stepped back, it was the kindest thing I’ve ever done for myself, ever! Think about deferring for the year. It’s only a year and give yourself a gift of stepping back just for a while. Get the mav controlled as best you can and enjoy the time with your children. Time goes very fast.
Take care x
Gosh you sound like many of us… trying to make life decisions around such uncertainty in the future. All of us do not know how their MAV will play out, will we have long periods of recovery, relapses, etc.
I am a teacher. I returned to work (4 days this year) a couple of weeks ago after having 4 months off. Right now I’m feeling ok. I’m still having some brief off moments everyday, but I’m able to work in this demanding intense job well enough… for now.
My period also triggers worsening of symptoms. Early Jan they came back in full force during my period. But went away again. I think wait out the next couple of days, you may find you pick up again.
I’m playing the waiting game for BPPV to return as this is what I know sends me into awful chronic months.
What I’m trying to say is that I’ve taken the approach that once I was stable, I wasn’t going to let this condition stop me living life. Yes I stop when I need to (4 months), and if I’m having bad period days I’ll not work. But now I’m doing things I am capable of again. I’m also starting a 2 year uni course next week. So I have a lot on my plate but am doing things differently. I’m trying not to stress, I’m on meds/supps, I’ve cut caffeine and alcohol entirely, I’m not saying yes to extra commitments, I’m getting enough sleep. Things I wasn’t doing beforehand.
I also have young girls I’m raising, so I know exactly your position.
Everyone is struggling with different symptoms which vary in intensity. So for this reason no one can tell you what to do. I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.
Thank you all so much for your thoughtful and considered words. Much to think about at the moment xx
I’ve been a teacher/subbing/ college through all of this. I never missed a day of work or college. I have no idea how. Even in my worst times. I had a bad relapse this year during the summer and this year work was mostly virtually from home while on the computer which was horrible but I don’t think I would have been able to start the year off at work.
How are you travelling now?
What do you mean traveling? Like how am I doing?
Yes sorry. How are you doing? I see you wrote that in another post so don’t reply. How did you go on screens for teaching? I find that hard for long periods.
I’m doing better with the computer since September. I never liked being on it even when I was doing well. But it’s gotten better but it’s just not pleasant. I wear blue blocking glasses and try to limit the brightness and take breaks from it. But overall it does exacerbate symptoms for sure
Hi Marianne, did you manage to complete your training? What was it that triggered your VM, specifically? Or was it the pressures and demands of the course?
Thank you so much for your reply @nin, I completely understand where you’re coming from and really appreciate your advice. Stepping back is a really difficult thing mentally isn’t it. I already have so many lifestyle changes in place and have made so much progress in the last 19 months - considering I couldn’t walk around my garden unaided back then! It’s strange, I haven’t really felt my VM was uncontrolled. I take a low dose of amitriptyline, avoid caffeine and MSG, take magnesium, I see my vestibular rehab physio regularly, I exercise. All of these things have given me so much of my life back. I work three days a week and find that Primary aged children, especially SEN children, are a vestibular rehab in themselves!! My husband is amazing, he’s supportive anyway but has been utterly brilliant the last 19 months and I know it’s been difficult for him. He has a demanding job in Investment Banking and does very long days but is always there when we need him. You’re right, I think I have in my mind that may be this year isn’t the right year for doing my training, but I also have so many contrasting thoughts and feelings. What if I defer and am still not in a better place in a year? Should I leave my job and really dedicate the next year to myself and getting to a better place? If I do defer, my youngest will then be in Secondary so I would have less pressures in terms of not having to rush around so much doing school pick up and drop off etc so may be that’s best for us all? I feel like my head is in a consant conflict, trying to think about what to do! I’ve been pretty stable for the last few months, this week has been a reminder of what I try so hard to avoid. I gave up my Project Manager job in the City when I had my first daughter and have loved every single minute of being with my girls at home, you’re right, time does go so very fast. May be all of this is telling me that this last year and a half of Primary school is something to cherish while I can and hopefully next September things will be different and I can start to follow the path I have planned for and dreamed of for the past few years. Much to think about xx
Thanks so much @Belindy, great to have your insight. I’ve been lucky that I have been able to work hours around my girls - I work 9-3, 3 days a week and have minimal computer time. I find doing too much is a real trigger for my symptoms so I guess this has been one of my main concerns with doing the training. I want to work part-time once I am qualified as I said above, but I do have to get through the training year first and this is my concern. I’m under no illusion that part-time will be easy, I have parents who were both teachers, I understand the demands. But I love my job, I love working with this age group of children but I am bored, I need to progress now and want more responsibility and have really enjoyed the chances I’ve had to work with a whole class. I think what you’re doing is brilliant and it gives me hope that I will get there xx
Actually to be more correct, teacher training didn’t trigger my symptoms but rather flared the mild ones I was experiencing.
After a trauma to my inner ear after a train trip (it’s my ENT hypothesis that this train trip triggered the 30% loss to my right inner ear), I was having short spinning vertigo attacks maybe twice a month. At the time, I thought I was just tired so I didn’t see any doctor and I started teacher training 3 months afterwards.
But then the stress and tiredness made my symptoms chronic. I guess teaching in a language that’s not mine, was too much for my brain. Too new too soon. The artificial light at school was to blame for this flare up and excacerbation of my symptoms, I feel. Plus the stress, of course.
I had to quit the training, (but also because I had not medical insurance and wanted to be close to my family back in France. Also my Boyfriend wanted to come back and saw this as a perfect star alignment )