Welcome to the board. (Sorry, I’m NOT the official welcoming committee - they have all gone to bed :shock: )
I just wanted to say, welcome here, and I’m so sorry you are suffering. My heart really did flips when I read your story.
I’m sure you have spent some time reading some of the others posts, and you must identify or you wouldn’t have bothered to post.
I can say this, you have found the most supportive group of people that you will ever find, right here. Its a great bunch, and I know you will find the answers and support you are seeking.
(I’m going to bed, the welcome wagon will be up in the morning, I’m SURE. )