Hi Missmoss,
I’m really glad you had a great meet up after all. I know Tony thinks I will not get better while I am working so hard and generally putting myself under a load of stress and I expect he is probably right. He has been lifeline to me and a great friend so I am trying to listen.
I really do think my brain got used to being under constant flight or fight conditions in the year that I got ill and was not able to adapt to any relative relaxation afterwards. Whether that hindered my compensation from labs/VN or whether MAV hit me in a weakened spot or whether my anxiety went up a whole new level to chronic subjective dizziness, I have no idea. Nor does it really matter. I was having the worst year of my life and then this came along to ice the cake. And now I am still doing far too much, enough to make many a well person ill, whilst being ill. So not much surprise that I don’t recover. But as I said my brain seems to like it when I get back in the adrenalin zone and kick me when I try to keep out of it, so in the short term it’s easier to just keep on going, especially as that is what everyone expects of me. How does one go cold turkey and go for all out long term relaxation? Especially as I am seen to cope, probably better than most well people?
Has anyone on here just dropped out of the rat race and found complete rest to be the cure? Can the switch ever be tripped the other way?
I am also ten times better on holiday, even when doing quite demanding things like shopping and sightseeing as you say. It makes me wonder if stress isn’t not only my main( and only identified) trigger, but also such a big factor to say that this is partly a psychological disorder, albeit one which stems from an underlying physical weakness?
I’m really interested in people’s thoughts on this too so thanks for raising it again.
Nicola