Hi Mark,
I was really moved by your story. Just read the whole lot. Man, you have been in the trenches you poor bugger as so many of us have. Your description of being on a sort of auto pilot for years wondering just how you had been getting by certainly resonates with me. For months it’s like I was faking it with this crap going on all the time.
You’re obviously a smart dude and really admire how you got stuck into this determined to work out what the hell was going on despite being told the anxiety-depression number.
Here’s what comes to my mind after reading your story and the path I would take at this stage:
You ARE a migraineur. This is clear to me. The history is very clearly there. Accept this. Is there any of this in the family gene pool – mother, father or grandparents? Migraine denial for a male in his mid 30s is “normal”. I denied it for about 2.5 years. It was a disease old ladies got I thought (yeah, very stupid I know). It’s common, very common. Like you I saw MAV in posts etc and just moved on thinking nope, not me. Impossible.
I am wondering if you should go the route that I have on this. That is focus on getting your neck fixed up first and foremost. Get those trigger points to – release/ disengage/ defuse/ throw down their weapons – to stop aggravating all the nerves in your upper cervical spine which I have a hunch will massively impact your migraine threshold and give you more latitude to move in (i.e. you will become asymptomatic or it will be so low you won’t care). You’ve been under water for a long while. Time to drain the pool. Of course while doing this you’ll also need to live the migraine lifestyle as you no doubt know all about now. I just wonder if you can escape the drugs by doing this??
My 2 cents.
Scott 8)