Dating a D o c

Specific Illnesses & Conditions VM/MAV
1

Hi Guys,

Haven’t been around lately… Have been doing pretty well to be honest, aside from 1 horrendous week out of the month starting a few days before my period where I feel very dizzy and very head and face painey. Clonidine is helping for sure.

I am supposed to see Doctor Silver the week after next but my car broke down and it’s expensive to get from London to Liverpool so I think I’ll delay it a month.

However, I thought I’d just stop by to pass on some quite funny news… And that is that I signed up to a dating website.
Ok, that’s not the only funny bit… I’m going on my 3rd date tonight with a G.P

My family and friends thought this was brilliant… Me with all my various ailments, dating a doctor!

Must admit, it’s very exciting dating a doctor.

Was really difficult to try not to mention MAV though seeing as it’s quite a big part of my life. I failed spectacularly. When we first started talking we chatted about dancing and I said I sometimes got vertigo and left it there but at dinner he asked where I usually went out. I couldn’t lie and said I didn’t go out that often lately as alcohol and late nights aren’t great for chronic vestibular migraine. He was sympathetic. I said I didn’t really want to talk about it but that I’d quickly glide over the details… 5 mins later after poking my food around on my plate and feeling like a complete loser and not really worthy of having him listen to me becuase I wasn’t dying, I’d finished my sorry tale. I have no idea what his opinion was because I didn’t let him speak and wanted to change the topic rapidly! The only thing he did say was to ask me what meds I was on. When I said I drank with Topirimate he raised his eyebrows. Eeeeek!

So yeah… Dating with MAV is hard. Dating a doctor when you have MAV is even harder.

I do seem to go for the difficult options. I’m just trying to avoid talking about it at the moment. I hate talking to my own GP about MAV and I feel like a fraud. I guess I need to get over this, this would be a great chance to at least educate 1 newly qualified GP in MAV!??!

Oh well, it’s a good story anyway!

I hope you’re all ok in the run up to Christmas xx

2

I love this story :slight_smile: i think I need a GP boyfriend, I’d be picking his brains all day long … plus asking for Valium when I’m ‘on one!’

Hope it continues to go well :slight_smile:

Xxxx

Sent you a pm :slight_smile:

3

Sorry. Me again!i hope this doesn’t come across as a bit cheeky! It is just a thought but I have an appointment with dr silver on the 30th at 7.15pm and am hoping to get a cancellation as I could do with seeing him sooner.

Fancy swapping?! His secretary is lovely so I would think it could be arranged. My appointment may not be far enough away from your original date though. Just an idea xxx

4

wow MM that is a good story. have u heard back from him since the date? I think dating a dr. is a slippery slope when u have health issues…my mom married a dr. (my dad is an internist) and it is a baaaaaaaaadd idea for family to treat family and it basically ended their marriage (it is a long story involving my mom and lyme disease). i dont think i could date one bc of the mav and i also have fibromyalgia and take all these meds and i already ask my dad a ton of questions all the time…if you think u can NOT ask him for medical advice and strictly just talk to your own drs. about this, I think it could work…just treat him like a non-dr. let us know what happens!

5

you are right Sarah. My initial reaction about dating a dr was a positive one. Selfishly, I would like it as I would hope that he could reassure me when I’m sick. My friend is married to a GP and I’m bad enough with asking him questions! Jokes aside, It must put a strain if you’re constantly asking for their opinion on things.

Missmoss, I’m sure things will progress. Keep us posted :slight_smile:

6

welll and what if they give u incorrrect information or bad advice u will blame them and then it creates all of this anger and resentment that is what happened to my mom. not to mention u might annoy or drive the other person crazy with constant questions (that is what i know i would do)!

7

I would definitely drive them bonkers!! Xx

8

hope the dating goes well MM, a nice story to read so hope it continues in a positive way!

9

My B/f is a student paramedic and that has it’s perks! He often asks me about my migraines. I think he understands migraine and the symptoms you can get a bit more because of myself he even did a full neuro exam when I first started to get migraines. He thought he had somebody with a hemiplegic migraine once and was telling me all about it! It’s not the same as a GP though as I guess they have more powers and say so in different treatments but at least you have educated him on MAV. It is nice to be able to chat to somebody and them understand you. I hope all goes well for you.

10

MM, I think it’s great you’re dating a doctor! :smiley: I can see the funny side, as you do, and as long as you don’t go on and on about your VM, as you clearly have decided you won’t, it could work really well for you - as long as he’s a nice human being of course, profession aside!

Just keep to a minimum any talk about your symptoms, except when absolutely necessary, and then only a few words before moving on and my guess is that he’ll soon cotton on that you just want a bit of understanding now and then, not a human Wikipedia! Maybe he’ll ask questions when you’ve been together a while longer and that’ll be the time to speak more freely.

Funnily enough our son’s just started dating a junior doctor and I was a bit worried myself at first meeting her in case I was having a bad day and explanations might be needed but it was OK. Not the same at all of course but I do sort of get where you’re coming from.

Have a great date! And hopefully many more of them…

Brenda

11

MM tell us how the date went!

12

MM why did he raise his eyebrows? was it cz he didnt know what topa is? or was it cz he didnt quite understand why topa is used for MAV? apparently its a very strong med so others cud have that same reaction.

13

— Begin quote from “nabeel”

MM why did he raise his eyebrows? was it cz he didnt know what topa is? or was it cz he didnt quite understand why topa is used for MAV? apparently its a very strong med so others cud have that same reaction.

— End quote

Yeah, I had to do a quick Google on that, didn’t realise you weren’t meant to drink on Topamax!! I hardly drink now anyway but I haven’t noticed any side effects (i.e. increased drowsiness) so let him raise his eyebrows all his wants MissMoss :roll:

Good luck and good on you for getting out there and dating, hope it all works out well for you :smiley:

14

u technically shouldnt drink on any of these meds but everyone does u can have 1 or 2 and its fine- i definitely wouldnt go past that though but im sure people do every day and they are fine. MM good for you for getting out there you are so brave i couldnt fathom trying to date with this you are awesome!

15

Wow guys, such an awesome string of posts to log in and see!!! Thanks!

I will reply to them, but first, can someone tell me how the hell to get rid of this post coming up in google searches for ‘dating a gp’ or ‘dating a doctor’ ?! I googled it yesterday and this bloody post came up!!! Maybe if I change all the key words or something?! Or is it possible at least to change a username? Arghhhghghghg :shock:

16

Hi missmoss, I’ve sent you a pm. Please could you let me know if you get it. Would be amazing if we could organise what I proposed!! Pretty desperate here!! Xxxx

17

Hi Guys,

Sorry, I have been mad crazy busy lately.

It’s still going well! I think we are up to date 7 or 8.I can’t NOT talk about MAV or being dizzy, it’s just not possible. So we have ocassionally touched on it but not much. I think the important thing is, I don’t expect him to cure me. I don’t ask him for his opinion on it. I listened to Brenda, my fairy godmother’s advice. I try not to talk about my symptoms except where absolutely necessary. I don’t talk about it other than to say ‘Actually I’m feeling pretty grotty today’ if that’s the case. The thing I am guilty of, though I suspect his friends probably are too, is to ask him what something means for someone else on a test result.

I think the main point is, he has seen that MAV isn’t really affecting my life much at the moment. Except I get bad hangovers, and I never eat cheese or cream. Hardly life stopping. And that’s the picture I want to continue to portray. Yes, it is a big part of my life, it’s actually changed me hugely as a person-for the better but nonetheless-, yes it’s something I need to consider but it doesn’t change my personality, it doesn’t consume my every waking hour, it doesn’t mean I can’t have a laugh. And I think that’s the important thing for anyone really- you should never let MAV take over your life and be your everything.

With time, if a relationship develops and continues, I think I will possibly show him a Dr Silver presentation and maybe one day ask him what he reckons about Lyme disease. But I might not. To be honest, none of this is really relevant. I like him for who he is and hopefully vice versa. It’s not really got anything to do with migraine, or what he can do for me. It’s actually irrelevant that he’s a doctor. Yes, he’s intelligent and I like that. We have great conversation. But we also have ridiculous conversation. So far so good! :slight_smile:

What I have learnt though which I would like to share, is that doctors are not gods. I think we all too often hold our doctors up as having the answer to everything. Extensive knowledge about everything. And being so above us. They are just normal people. Normal people who have studied their arses off to get to where they are yes. But they are human. And humans can make mistakes sometimes too. I think I’ve been guilty int he past of expecting a doctor to just have all the magical answers- I think you have to acknowledge that it’s a 2 way street- more of a partnership to get you well. That’s just my opinion.

By the way, to the guys that said you shouldn’t drink on these tablets, no you shouldn’t. But I do. I have been on a couple of binges. The risks are that the tablets are depressing the nervous system, the cardiac and respiratory systems. And alcohol is a depressant as well. I skip the meds. Or I just accept the risks. The last binge I went on was extremely silly of me. I actually felt I was going mad by the end of it. But you live and learn.

Happy Christmas everyone. I hope you all have a wonderful time.

xx

P.S Brenda- how is your son’s relationship going??! x

18

— Begin quote from “missmoss83”

It’s still going well! I think we are up to date 7 or 8.

P.S Brenda- how is your son’s relationship going??! x

— End quote

Fantastic to hear this MM. Sounds as if you’ve judged it just right. I’m so pleased for you.

Nice of you to ask about our son too. Yes, his relationship seems to be going well. He’s been in the Falklands for the past three months though with the Army so we’re waiting to catch up with his news when he comes home tomorrow, weather permitting. He’s going for a late second Christmas dinner on the 28th at her parents as she’s working on the 25th and 26th, so that bodes well! Watch this space.

Have a really lovely Christmas…

Here’s some fairy dust to help it along :slight_smile: x

Brenda

19

— Begin quote from ____

It’s still going well! I think we are up to date 7 or 8

— End quote

You’re practically married! :lol:

20

Hey MM,
that’s great news - so pleased for you, and really hope it all works out. :slight_smile:
It’s been a long time since we met-up, and I meant to come along to some more meet-ups with the MAV gang but never did. But it was sooo good to chat to another MAVVer, so thank you!
Have a great Christmas! :slight_smile:
Tony.