Thank you so much to my MAV family for your responses.
Sorry I havenāt replied sooner- I decided to go full pelt at the vodka, which resulted in the worst hangover ever whilst down a Salt Mine⦠The worst part? Walking down 62 flights of stairs, with full on hangover, each flight of stairs thinking we were at the bottom, but no, never ending, like we were in some kind of bad dream, and the woman behind me says to her friend āIs anyone else feeling dizzy?ā⦠Errr, yeah!!! Thatāll teach me⦠Maybe 
I then had to move house and am flying to Miami in 2 days time so itās all systems go go go.
Itās so great to have you guys here, to know someobody else knows what Iām talking about and who just āgets itā.
Angela- Iām so sorry you felt as bad as you say, I think I know where youāre coming from. I also know what you mean re planning. Planning is impossible. I am the perpetual canceller. So much so that people donāt bother asking me to do stuff anymore.
A screaming row, or any kind of sudden emotion, such as shock or embarassment, seems to produce an instant reaction. My friend embarassed me the other day by getting the waitress to produce a birthday cake with cancdles and the whole restuarant filled with the tune of Happy Birthday. It was funny but my head started spinning like mad!
Your last sentence about propping me up was gold dust- thank you so much xx
Notchoma- thank you for your understanding. I believe weāll get better too, itās just a bloody slow process. Need a fast forward button! x
Jem!- How are you doing? I feel worse since December still and the milestone of turning 30 and having this for 2 birthdays is getting me down I guess more.
Dr S didnt give me an idea of a time period of when Iād be well by. Re the clonidine, Iāve been taking it for about 5 days now. I think Iām seeing improvements. I will write more in a separate post!! Fingers crossed!
Kathy- Thanks for the hug
Iām not on an SSRI. I heard you canāt mix them with a tricylcic antidepressant, do you know if thats right? I have a book on CBT but find it hard to digest. I asked Dr S about how to cope with the psychological aspects of this and he said thereās no point going to a counsellor whoāll drag up old stuff and make you feel you have more problems!! And recommended meditation, tai chi and yoga. I havenāt followed up on the mindfullness either, but I did just buy this book. Has anyone else read it: Full Catastrophe Living: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness meditation [Paperback] by Jon Kabat-Zinn.