Tuesday I have my second interview for an exciting job.
I think I want it, but I’m not sure.
I think I can do it, but I’m not sure.
I know I’m a finalist.
The biggest ULP is that it’s a very responsible job, representing a big-deal organization, and I’ll be working without someone to serve as a backup; and it involves up to have my time travelling and attending a lot of meetings and making a lot of presentations.
I don’t need the job: I make enough now that I’m fine between my savings and my present one-man businesses. However, when this dropped across my sights I got very interested.
Here are my worst fears:
fogging out in the middle of a meeting;
or as I’m finishing a presentation (that happened once, years ago, but I faked presence of mind okay);
or losing track of where I’m supposed to be (that happened on my way to one meeting a few years back); or
feeling sick as fuck on bad days, whilst doing what I am committed to doing, so I hate the job; or
just finding the work exhausting enough that my efforts make me less well overall.
If I go in to my interview and talk about these fears, I’ll essentially be saying, “Don’t hire me.”
If I go in and don’t talk about these fears, am offered the job, and accept it, and only then talk about the risks, I’ll be handing them a royal, “Fuck you,” because I don’t see a good workaround to avoid the possibilities, or to nip them in the bud if these things should come to pass.
The only way I can know how real the possibilities are is to try it. Of course if I take it I will go in gently, and tell them up-front that it is my intention to do so. I will be setting my own schedule to a certain degree; that’s in the job description.
People in the industry whom I respect greatly think I can do the job, and do it well. They’ve known me professionally for many years. However, they haven’t worked with me on a week-to-week basis, nor, with an exception or two, have we shared our private lives.
What are your thoughts?