Job-seeking ethics

Tuesday I have my second interview for an exciting job.
I think I want it, but I’m not sure.
I think I can do it, but I’m not sure.
I know I’m a finalist.

The biggest ULP is that it’s a very responsible job, representing a big-deal organization, and I’ll be working without someone to serve as a backup; and it involves up to have my time travelling and attending a lot of meetings and making a lot of presentations.

I don’t need the job: I make enough now that I’m fine between my savings and my present one-man businesses. However, when this dropped across my sights I got very interested.

Here are my worst fears:
fogging out in the middle of a meeting;
or as I’m finishing a presentation (that happened once, years ago, but I faked presence of mind okay);
or losing track of where I’m supposed to be (that happened on my way to one meeting a few years back); or
feeling sick as fuck on bad days, whilst doing what I am committed to doing, so I hate the job; or
just finding the work exhausting enough that my efforts make me less well overall.

If I go in to my interview and talk about these fears, I’ll essentially be saying, “Don’t hire me.”
If I go in and don’t talk about these fears, am offered the job, and accept it, and only then talk about the risks, I’ll be handing them a royal, “Fuck you,” because I don’t see a good workaround to avoid the possibilities, or to nip them in the bud if these things should come to pass.

The only way I can know how real the possibilities are is to try it. Of course if I take it I will go in gently, and tell them up-front that it is my intention to do so. I will be setting my own schedule to a certain degree; that’s in the job description.

People in the industry whom I respect greatly think I can do the job, and do it well. They’ve known me professionally for many years. However, they haven’t worked with me on a week-to-week basis, nor, with an exception or two, have we shared our private lives.

What are your thoughts?

I reckon you will have to give it a go or you will always wonder what if.

Even ‘normal’ people have occasional ill days, hopefully you won’t have too many days that you actually can’t work and even if you have a few it won’t be too noticed?

I say bite the bullet, lifes too short, and we can’t let MAV stop our dreams

Good luck x

Yeah, I’ve been in an interview where I told the guy too much and saw myself get checked off. Now I mention it and explain that I’ve been great for a long time and probably feel better than the average person. I don’t have that many dizzy days anymore, but when I do I just say I have a migraine and people get that. In the last four years, I had two occasions of bad vertigo at work (out of nowhere) and called my husband to pick me up. Not a big deal since it’s rare. And I’m the weird one with lamps in the office and the overhead lights turned off - I just let people think whatever about that.

That being said, everyone’s different of course and stress aggravates things. You’ll only know by trying.

Dizzymingo that is great that you are doing so well- I saw your success story- are you on the same meds now? At the same doses or did you have to raise them at all? Did you have any balance issues and did the meds help with that? Have you been able to fully function since writing your story?

David, I’d go for it! I understand everything you say about the ‘what ifs’… but it sounds from what you say that it’s really something you’d like to have go at and that you’d be good at. And that what is holding you back is fear… don’t let it. You’ve thought about it rationally, weighed up the pros and cons, know the score by now… I’d definitely give it a shot if you feel up to it. If it ends up being too much for you or you have a bad experience, then at least you will have tried and like the others say you won’t be always thinking ‘what if’… ?

I’m fortunate that I work from home but was recently asked to take on two more jobs. I was simultaneously excited and terrifed. It involves working with deadlines and of course all my own ‘what ifs’ came out but I went for it. I’m loving it but am going through it a bit VM-wise because of all the extra stress, tiredness, intense work etc but I’m determined to do it. VM has taken away enough already and having been given the chance to do what I love doing, I’m blowed if I’m going to let it rob me of anything else! :smiley:

But it’s your shout, of course. I’ve only ever mentioned briefly to my employer about my migraines, so as far as he is concerned they’re not an issue. Although, he doesn’t see what goes on here on bad days when I’m trying to work - thank goodness!

How are you feeling about it now that Tuesday is approaching? Have you made your mind up what you’re going to do?

All the best


Thanks, Brenda.
Lovely response.

I am going in, and I am going to say that I think I am suited for the job, unless I learn something when I’m there tomorrow morning that makes me decide otherwise. There’s too many people who believe I am right for it for me to give as much weight to my “what ifs” as my nerves would have me do.

If I get the job, then I will have to decide what to mention to my hosts at various meetings about “Just on the off chance, if I should fog out for a minute, my apologies–but nothing especially bad’s happening. Just give me a minute or four to regroup.”

You see, at a meeting this past fall I did fog out, and a former EMT saw this and was afraid I’d had a stroke! Fortunately, I regathered my wits before he decided to call in the medics.

But all this is unnecessary negative anticipation. Tomorrow morning I go in, I learn more about them, they learn more about me, and each of us decides whether the job is the good fit I hope it is.

Good luck David - I think you’re making the right decision

good luck let us know how it goes!!!


I definitely think you are doing the right thing in pressing forward with this job opportunity. I think that at the end of the day what the company will care about is your performance and your ability to add to the company’s bottom line. If you demonstrate that you are capable of handling the job, I sincerely doubt that the company will have any issues regarding your VM. I would not really be concerned about a one-time oddity or event of the kind you have described. Shit happens and companies know that. If you are producing along the lines of what they are looking for, they will not focus on that.

I would however, not be inclined to come forward with any additional information until after you have been on the job and producing for a while (unless necessary). Once you have proven your worth, I would slowly bleed out as much information as possible since it will provide you with a source of job protection. As you know, here in the US, termination in the face of any kind of illness is extremely dangerous for an employer.

Best of luck,


Hey David,

I’ve thought about what I’d do in this position myself…

I’m too honest and would want to tell them straight out, mainly for my own fear of what the environment is like- I would want to ask them what their lighting is like.

BUT I conclude that the sensible thing would be to just go for the interview, see if I got offered the job, and after I had accepted it, I would later explain I had migraines and was sensitive to lights - or whatever triggers you have…

It’s not about being unethical there- it’s actually allowing THEM to be ethical to YOU. They must not discriminate against employing you with this diability.

Seems like you already came to that conclusion so all that’s left to say is GOOD LUCK!!!