Keeping myself going

So, as I’ve written in other posts, I will have been “dizzy” for 9 months next Friday (August 28th). I have good days, where I think I’m “cured” and I almost forget what it’s like to be dizzy. And then I have weeks like the one that just passed where I get woken up in the night being dizzy and am so heavy headed and dizzy all day that I can’t function.

The worst part is forcing myself to go out and continue living. I know my friends are sick of hearing that I’m always “dizzy” when I probably look okay on the outside. And I’m not a drama queen and don’t want the attention, let alone always being the sick girl. But there is nothing worse than being out with a group of people who are laughing and smiling and thinking about how exhausted I am from being so spinny and heavy headed all day…

Or trying to date…I’m 33 years old and single and it’s hard to get jazzed up about dating when most of the time I feel like lying on the couch and reading (b/c that’s one of the only things I can do that keeps the dizziness away when I’m having a bad day).

It’s just hard to go through the motions. I’m a teacher and luckily I’ve been on summer vacation…but the school year is looming closer and closer, and I’ll have a new group of students that I’ll have to explain this “illness” to so that they can help me cope…and it’s hard for these 8 year olds to understand when they can’t see what’s happening to me…and I hate working with them all day when I’m dizzy…there is nothing worse than a room full of chatty 8 year olds running around when everything is already in motion…I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK…the meds were supposed to have kicked in by now, before going back to work…instead, I’m on my 3rd med and I don’t think it’s going to work.

And I could always count on working out…and I’ve totally lost the motivation for that lately too…even though I know I feel so much better once I’m going…getting started is so hard.

Sorry for the negativity…need to get this all out. It’s so nice to have this community. Thank you!

Lisa Rebecca: I know exactly what you mean. It is so tough to keep on going when you feel crappy and everyone around you is happy, enjoying themselves and they can’t see what is going on inside of you. I can’t imagine a room full of 8 year olds and dealing with this. I know it is awful trying to make yourself get to the gym to work out, but it is better for you. Sometimes I go and can’t even walk straight on the treadmill but I am always glad I went, it also helps me sleep at night. But keep on going … you need to do it to feel better.
Joan

Lisa Rebecca,
Hi. I totally understand where you are coming from with the work thing. Last summer, I was pretty much where you are. I too, am a teacher and I honestly didn’t know how I was going to deal with the kids each and every day. I too work with the 7-9 year old age range (special needs). Work was tough at first. I really had to adjust to the routine of getting up early and not being able to take breaks…plus I had a then 2 yr. old that I had to get off to her sitter each morning. But as the months passed by, it became a distraction for me too. Even though most days I felt like garbage, the kids kind of took my mind off of feeling so crappy. I went through the majority of the school year…until March, feeling not myself. In March, I met my neuro-otologist who prescribed Cymbalta, which has helped me get my life back. I am 95-100% most days. You will get there too! Sometimes that change in routine helps you to take your mind off feeling bad. I hope that this happens for you. Keep plugging away and don’t give up!!

Lisa,

I just wanted to tell you that I empathize with everything that you wrote. You are a strong woman to work with this, especially as a teacher, which is not a sedentary job. For the first year of this I was able to keep on working as a psychologist, but sadly had to take disability during year 2. I sure hope the med you are trying works. What have you tried thus far?

Hang in there! You have to have faith that something will eventually work. I feel your pain about school starting. I am also a teacher (special education) and I am super nervous about the school year starting. Just do the best you can every day and take it one day at a time. You will get through this!
Sarah

— Begin quote from “Lisa Rebecca”

So, as I’ve written in other posts, I will have been “dizzy” for 9 months next Friday (August 28th). I have good days, where I think I’m “cured” and I almost forget what it’s like to be dizzy. And then I have weeks like the one that just passed where I get woken up in the night being dizzy and am so heavy headed and dizzy all day that I can’t function.

The worst part is forcing myself to go out and continue living. I know my friends are sick of hearing that I’m always “dizzy” when I probably look okay on the outside. And I’m not a drama queen and don’t want the attention, let alone always being the sick girl. But there is nothing worse than being out with a group of people who are laughing and smiling and thinking about how exhausted I am from being so spinny and heavy headed all day…

Or trying to date…I’m 33 years old and single and it’s hard to get jazzed up about dating when most of the time I feel like lying on the couch and reading (b/c that’s one of the only things I can do that keeps the dizziness away when I’m having a bad day).

It’s just hard to go through the motions. I’m a teacher and luckily I’ve been on summer vacation…but the school year is looming closer and closer, and I’ll have a new group of students that I’ll have to explain this “illness” to so that they can help me cope…and it’s hard for these 8 year olds to understand when they can’t see what’s happening to me…and I hate working with them all day when I’m dizzy…there is nothing worse than a room full of chatty 8 year olds running around when everything is already in motion…I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO WORK…the meds were supposed to have kicked in by now, before going back to work…instead, I’m on my 3rd med and I don’t think it’s going to work.

And I could always count on working out…and I’ve totally lost the motivation for that lately too…even though I know I feel so much better once I’m going…getting started is so hard.

Sorry for the negativity…need to get this all out. It’s so nice to have this community. Thank you!

— End quote

Have you read the Heal Your Headache Book and tried following that route at least getting some of the things in order…

I think some of the things that some here would tell you have helped is the following.

  1. Go to bed the same time every night and wake up the same time every morning. (within 30 minutes ) Getting your sleep seems to be a very important factor in dealing with this disease.
  2. Try eating smaller meals instead of three big ones …that has made a difference for me.
  3. Make sure and drink plenty of water
  4. Prop your head up at night. Many of us cannot sleep flat.
    5.Put something behind your neck when you sit…(it helps me with the heavy head issues )
  5. Try to get a little bit of exercise ( I am still having a hard time with this one)
  6. Eat a balanced diet…( I did the diet modification but am trying to get to eating a more balanced diet)

Hopefully with these lifestyle changes and finding the right medications you can get through this and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I’m going to try this. I’ve started somewhat relapsing but as with everything in this condition, it’s different every time. This time, for a while after eating, I start to feel ‘off’ and very slightly on the edge of being nauseous. After a while (a couple of hours?) I feel normal again.

I go through similar… i feel dizzy after meals but after a few hours it settles… its not every time but about 50% of the time.

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Then I strongly recommend you look at the link I just added to my latest diary entry. I’m very close to solving my puzzle I think.

I had this too, was better with a migraine specific diet, but still I lost about 20lbs (165lbs to 145lbs) in the first few months of MAV because I was just scared to eat. I was getting pretty skinny…

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