MAV sucks, no lie, but it doesn’t take away our agency. We can do a lot to improve our quality of life. I’m naturally a depressed introvert, too, but I’m worth more than hiding at home on the government dole. You are, too, if you decide that’s true.
I used to have a therapist who would always ask two questions that would nail me to the wall:
What are you not doing when you’re obsessing, depressing or being anxious? (What are you avoiding while indulging in those behaviors?)
Why do you argue for your weaknesses?
Start diary so we can move these over there and keep the original topic clean.
I quit tobacco about 1 year into MAV, at my lowest of low’s. So I understand what you are going through. Also gave up alcohol and caffeine. Somehow the brain resets itself over time and you find other ridiculously boring and simple pleasures like camomile tea with honey and reading a good book.
As @flutters has said, therapy is a good thing to focus on getting. I would consider a GoFundMe or something to let your friends/family help you through this difficult time.
Let us know if you do. We are your friends. We may not all be able to help, but I’d give up a week of specialty decaf to help a fellow MAVerick who’s working hard to help herself and just needs a boost to get a foothold on the ladder.