After a year of suffering with VM in my new country of Switzerland I have decided that I would like to move back home to UK, closer to friends and family and hopefully also a place where I will feel more secure and ultimately result in feeling better again.
Its going to take a while as there are so many things to take into consideration. I do not want to be unemployed and if possible would like to keep the same job I am currently doing but based from the UK. This would most likely mean that I would be working from the London office which would mean a daily commute in from Folkestone, Kent, which would be stressful no doubt but at least I would be in a country where I understand everyone and know my way around.
So I am in discussions with my manager on how best the company can help me to do this. I hope its not too difficult as really can not be dealing with the added stress of it all but lets see.
This has not been an easy decision to make. I’ve got so many good things out here, great job, great money, lots of opportunities to do things. It’s the lack in doing things that hass ultimately led me to the decision. I really don’t see the point in just getting by each day in work, feeling wiped out in the evening and just laying on the sofa in a country far away from home… with no real good friends or family close by.
I am not sure moving back to the UK will be a cure, but at least I will feel more secure deep down and with the help of friends and family, push through this crap.
Massive respect to you for making this decision- I know it can’t have been easy for you.
It’s great that your company seem able to help you in this too.
I feel sure that you will feel better being at home in the UK or at least it will help massively in your recovery- I really do believe that although this condition is not mental in origin, mood and psychology plays an important part in managing it.
P.S You also have us UK based dizzies for support.
richy i think that sounds like a great decision- i would do the same- in fact, i moved home myself- although that was also because i can’t work like this. i honestly think you are making a good decision, and like MM said, it sounds like you have access to a great group of dizzies in person- i am jealous!!!- it seems like there are several in their 20’s- i am 29- would be so great to have a social life again with people who understand!
Rich - I know this decision has been weighing so heavily on you. and, I am glad that you made a decision, as being in limbo is so difficult. I am glad you followed your heart and instincts. and, I wish you all the best. I’m always on FB should you need a friend to chat!
Sounds like a good decision Richy, it’s been a long time coming and sounds right…I am thinking of delaying a University course I’m doing dependent on my appointment with the Lyme specialist tomorrow, need to concentrate on getting well.
Hi Richy, I had been living in Washington DC for a few years- got sick the last year of my masters- was able to finish this luckily and then moved home to massachusetts and am currently living with my mom at home. It is definitely a big adjustment from living by myself, but with this illness (and my chronic pain issue) I feel so much better having another person around (even though she is a total slob and kind of a hoarder…).
No no kids, probably would have tried this year but this crap has well and truly delayed that!! Couldn’t even think about having a baby and being like I am at the mo…do you think we have a chance of getting better??? I am seriously losing hope, it’s been 8 months and for some many so much longer…it’s depressing. xx
Yes me too. I thought I would by now but after I relapsed last summer I kind of started to prepare myself mentally that maybe having children isn’t meant to be for me. My partner isn’t really bothered either way about having them and I just don’t feel consistently well enough to go through all that it involves. I don’t know what the future holds but right now it is looking like I probably won’t. My sister who is 8 years younger than me is already pregnant with her second child!
If I am being totally honest then it is hard to imagine I will recover having had this nearly 4 years now. I don’t know about other people. I usually feel more hopeful when it’s someone else that they will get better but for myself I can’t really see a return to complete normality. I hope I am wrong and I suppose that grain of hope is what keeps me going or at least to have long periods of time where I can do quite a lot of what I want without feeling too terrible is maybe a bit more realistic xx
I know what you mean, the longer it goes on the less likely it seems…but like you say maybe the realistic thing is to hope for stability and improvement instead of complete recovery…but maybe as the years go by and migraine research gets better and advances new drugs will emerge and more understanding of migraine…xx
I know this must have been a very difficult decision so credit to you for making it. It’s such a balancing act between not wanting migraine to rule our lives vs acceptance of what we can and can’t do and what we have to do to get well. I can empathise as I had a similar issue with my own work. I work in law enforcement and the vertigo was becoming problematic, especially once prolonged periods of rotational vertigo started to happen. It’s just too much of a risk, and puts too much stress on me, to be operational. As a result I am now on permanently restricted duties. It’s tough in that it redefines who I am as a professional, and limits quite significantly my opportunities. On the other hand I don’t have the fear of what could happen if I have an attack.
I know you have given this issue a lot of thought and I think you have made the right decision for you, for now. You need to eliminate unnecessary stress, have a life outside work and have the support around you that can only get at home. I’m really confident this will all assist you in getting better control of this beast. Just the act of making the decision/taking control is a good thing and will help with your health as well I think.
I have been told the unfortunate news that my company will not allow me to do my job from the UK. This means I either search for another job in the uk in same or different company, I quit my job all together and head back or I stay here in Switzerland until something pops up.
Its a strange feeling to know that I am actually kind of trapped here, even though I was so sure they would allow me to work from the UK. I am a bit gutted about that in all honesty.
For me, it is not an option to go from a Swiss salary to going on the dole. It would add more stress than I am currently under. Somehow my manager actually thinks that it would be a good move to just leave work and go back to the UK… but I just couldn’t imagine living at my parents again and not being independent. For me it would cause a downward spiral.
I think I am going to stick at it out here until an opportunity crops up, then go for it in the UK, would also appreciate any advice from you all
That’s a pity Richy, did they give a reason for why you can’t move to the UK to do your job? Is it because they don’t have a role over here or do you think they could be discriminating against you due to your illness?
I know when I was working with VM for the first year, I was on reduced hours and after about a month my company just halved my bonus without saying a word to me. I knew I would be getting half pay for half the number of hours but I was still being expected to handle the same case load and the bonus was a percentage of how many cases I settled each month. I raised it as an issue with my boss and said if my bonus is being halved then my case load should also be halved as they seemed to be expecting me to handle the same number of cases for half the bonus. My full bonus was then restored without another word.
I guess the problem is that companies do discriminate when you are ill and it does feel unfair. I don’t know in your case though Richy… I guess staying over there seems like the best option for the time being but like you said maybe keep your eye out for positions over here too…