New Job - MAV kicking my ass (Part 2)

To quote from Scott’s previous thread.

Well, as most of you know I went out to Abu Dhabi on 25th April for 4 weeks to spend time in the sun with my brother/sister-in-law/1 year old niece as they live there. It was magical.

The Weds before I flew out I had a mini spin in the morning which wrote me off for the whole day and made me feel terribly ill. This was day 1 of my period. After that I seemed to recover quite quickly and by the Monday I was pretty much ok to take the flight by myself to Abu Dhabi.

The evening I arrived I increased my meds (Nortriptyline) to 30mg.

As the days progressed I got increasingly better. Virtually no symptoms all day long and the chronic rocking I was suffering with was now only mild and noticable only when I was going to bed. I literally felt 90% like my old self. I was out every day and most nights with little or no problems/symptoms.

When it came to my period time, I was anxious that another spin was on its way with days of feeling crap to follow. But hooray no spin and only 1 bad headache which my Valium got rid of. Over the 5 days of my period I was doing about 80% which was still pretty good.

I got home and the following week everything was still progressing swimmingly and I felt like I had turned a corner finally. I also increased the meds to 35mg.

Next I decided to take the plunge and contact my agency about going back to work. I told them I wasnt able to do a full on contract like I had previously had at HSBC but needed something low-key to ease me back in.

So I started a new job on Tuesday with a Japanese Bank. Very low stress, no long hours (just straight forward 9am - 5pm) and then the usual hour commute either side. I was really feeling like I would be able to handle it as I was in this new frame of mind after feeling so good in AD and the job is a walk in the park. Wrong.

Tuesday morning after arriving, I had a mini spin at my desk (but managed to hide my distress and carry on with the day). Then by the time I got home Tues eve I felt ropey as hell. I had another spin Tues night and spent the rest of the eve in tears as my balance was then off and the rocking was back - I took 2mg Valium to help things calm down. However, I was determined to not cave and go back to work the next day. Yesterday was a little easier but I still felt off and then last night we went to see Kings of Leon in concernt (VIP corp box so no moshing with the crowd!).

Today however is a whole different story. I feel like total crap. My head is buzzing big time, and the promise of a spin is lurking. The back of my head neck feels like it’s being electricuted and I’m getting the little zaps again. The girl opposite me keeps asking me if I’m ok coz I look pale and unwell. I just dont understand it.

I dont feel I’m being bothered by the lighting or the screen (but who knows) but just feel like my MAV knows I’m at work so is cranking up. It’ll be all I can do to get through tomorrow. The bank have asked me back next week and I’ve said I can only manage 4 days but I’m wondering if I really CAN manage 4 days!

It is also my birthday next Sat 11th and I am having all my friends over for a BBQ and feel like I’m not going to survive it.

I just dont know what to do for the best. I really need to be back at work as I’m broke but dont want to do myself more damage. I just want the Abu Dhabi feeling to come back - it was so good!!!

Yours miserably,

Muppo :cry:

Hey Muppo!

Three words: do not panic.

Easy to type, I know, not so easy to do. It is a big shock to the system to be back at work, plus there is the added pressure of the whole ‘work experience’ plus, you need the dosh. So much pressure on the poor, fragile migraine brain. So, if possible, don’t freak it out even more and panic. It’s not comfort I know, but it’s kind of ‘normal’ for One Of Us to feel worse under all those stressors. Doesn’t mean it will last forever.

My advice, other than trying not to panic is to bump up the Valium. Let it do its job. Sleep. Chill. Don’t overdo it after work or at the weekends as you adjust to being back at work. Lean on Paul :slight_smile: .

As for those electrical zaps. Eugh. Yuck. They suck don’t they? So uncomfortable.

Hang tough girlfriend


Sorry you’re having it rough at the moment.I still struggle at work - when I’m on leave I feel much better! We need a lottery win to allow us to stay home - I’m sure our health would improve.
I know its hard, but try not to panic. When I start to worry it makes everything worse. I’ve begun to try and tell myself the mantra “so what”. I worry about things, but in the long run “so what” - there’s nothing we can do about it. It works sometimes and does calm me down.
Good luck

Hey girl,
I have to chime in as well…you are doing what people do after being sick and getting back some normalcy…rushing back in to their “old” ways. No matter what we think, it’s always in the back of your brain that you can get triggered again. I think kid gloves are in order…if you are working during the week…take nice hot baths and relax at night and take it EASY…on the weekends, you can do your social stuff/concerts etc…but if you try to do everything, your brain might not be “over” it enough to build the threshold high enough.
Baby steps…and patience…you are doing so, so much better!! Don’t let a minor setback get your mind reeling…just think that this is a normal response for a MAV’er under the circumstances, and you will get through it!

Hi Muppo,

Sorry to hear of your relapse, but I agree with above - you probably just overstimulated the brain with all that you have been doing lately. You need some down time as it were, so take it easy on weekends (but still enjoy your bday :wink: ) and give yourself time to get back to that baseline. You’ll be ok. And we’re here to listen and help you through.

Cheers, Bonnie

Hi Muppo,

Really glad you had a lovely time in Dubai with your family.

But I can see how going back to work after a break is really hard to do. Stick with it and you will adjust again. My MAV brain doesn’t like new stuff/changes, but I’ve always been able to work through things and everything’s improved after a week or so. I know it’s really tough, but you can do it, I know you can, as you seem like such a strong and determined person from your messages on here.

P.S. take lots of medication to get you through the worst, and then gradually reduce once your MAV has settled back down again.

Hi Muppo. you are being very brave.Dr S usually advises not to over do stuff even when you feel better. So what about part time work? upping the dosage you are on. Let the valium support you. It maybe that your body will adjust.


Guys, thanks for your words of encouragement and continued support - I couldnt get through this BS withouth you guys.

Well, I’m back at work starting week 2 so that’s something eh?! Only doing four days though. Last Friday I actually had a pretty good day in the office but Friday night I felt like hell and then decided to up the Nori to 40mg. Saturday I was a bus crash! Psycho all day, hyper-sensitive, think Paul (my bf) wanted to burn me at the stake! But, by Sun/Mon, things had settled again although I had another mini spin last night which wrote me off.

Today I’m about 75%. Just praying the rest of the week lasts like this and I’m not ruined for my birthday on Saturday!!

Love to all x

Sorry to hear about that Mup,

I would not read too much into it though.

Your brain has not had this much stimulation for quite some time…I actually would have been surprised if you HAD NOT had some issues going back to work :?

It is going to take some time…no question.

You are pretty tough, I can tell. Hang in there kiddo…PM me if you ever want to vent. (I have a 15 year old daughter…I can take pretty much anything :lol: )

Good luck Mup…I will say a prayer for ya !

Your friend in Washington,


Well done Muppo for sticking with it! That’s half the battle. Good to hear you had a better day on Friday, and hopefully you will soon find that you have more good days than bad, and then eventually there will be no bad days at all.
Hope you are ok for your birthday on Saturday - do you have special plans?