so here goes… (I’m sorry it’s so long)
I’ve been very ill for several years now, although I can trace back to my late teens of often not feeling “well”, but nothing I can put a finger on. At the time the illness really hit me, I was a smoker and drank heavily. For a long time, I passed it off as lifestyle. I cut back on my consumption and slowly realized something was not right with me. I went to the doctor many times, pleading for him to believe me and run tests. The order of tests and specialists were so many that it is a blur. The main complaint I always had was dizziness, but here is a list:
Vertigo and dizziness, but not a body spin, more like my actual brain is spinning
Trouble breathing, like there is a hand around my lower esophagus
Spasms in my esophagus and deep into my chest
Heart palpitations, heavy thumping. I am constantly aware of (and now terrified of) my heavy heartbeat
Severe joint and muscle pain, mostly in my chest, upper back, and arms (I do not believe it is Fibromyalgia)
Exhaustion
Severe physical anxiety (as opposed to thought stimulated anxiety) like my adrenal gland is on the fritz
Trouble with my vision, such as trying to, or not being able to focus and feeling like my eyes are going to pop out of my head, also hallucinating what looks like fog or a cloud rolling past me, or that stationary objects are moving in my peripheral vision
Hot and cold sweats
skin crawling or tingling
I’ve had many awful sensations, such as feeling like my brain is vibrating, or what feels like an earthquake rumble across the right portion of my brain. I also constantly get this sensation that begins in my upper chest/lower esophagus that resonates up my neck and into my head that triggers the vertigo and what I call a brain quake. It’s terrifying. This woke me up from sleep for the first time, which used to be my only escape. I went to the ER. After a CT scan, blood work that involved 4 tubes, a urinalysis, and an EKG ( the fifth in my life) of course, they told me I was fine. Then the next week (just a couple days ago) I was woken by a freight train of vertigo. The most terrifying sensation I’ve ever experienced. BAM it sent me scrambling for-I don’t know what. I went back to the ER. He gave me some meds, which did not help, and a prescription for Haldol and Reglan. I didn’t take them, because, honestly, prescription medication freaks me out. It has lasted for a couple days now, and I still can’t lay on my left side without spinning out of control.
I have seen dozens of doctors and specialists (I can’t even remember them all), including several general practitioners, a physical therapist (to rule out positional vertigo), 2 ENT’s, 3 neurologists, a gastroenterologist, a cardiologist, an allergist, a naturopath, and even a medical intuitive and acupuncturist. I have had more tests than I can remember, but lets try: full brain and spine MRI, 2 CT scans, an upper endoscopy and colonoscopy (which was for chronic hemorrhoids, but that’s irrelevant), a stress echo test, I wore an event monitor for 30 days, MANY blood tests, urinalysis, and some test where they measured my eye movement and poured water in my ears. I know there’s more, but can’t think of them. A neurologist in Seattle thought I may have migraine associated vertigo. I’m still pretty skeptical. It doesn’t feel right. I quite smoking 2 months ago, but picked it up again last week (I know, but stress makes you do stupid things). I cut way down on drinking, thinking that was making it worse, but it makes no difference. Now I just want to drink more to make it go away.
I now no longer have insurance. I am thousands of dollars in debt for medical bills and they just keep coming in. I almost had to file for bankruptcy due only to medical bills. Every doctor tells me I 'm fine and blows me off as having stress and anxiety. Nonsense. I know, with everything that I am, that something is wrong with me. This is not in my head and I am not crazy. I cry and wish everyday for someone to help me. At age 29, I went back to school as a medical assistant, have met my soul mate, and see everything I want in life within my grasp (husband, house, children, career), but it’s all I can do just to get through the day. I’ll be 30 in a few weeks and hate that I’ll probably spend my birthday rocking in a corner.
I’m less skeptical after looking at this forum, but I need help. I don’t want to go on medication, but I can’t right now anyway because I don’t have the money. Any help or insight anyone is willing to give would be much appreciated! Thank you!
Im sorry you have been struggling so much! I know exactly how it feels.
A few quick words of advice,
You definitely sound like a good case for MAV. I would get on a healthy lifestyle and diet, and see a general practitioner and ask for a preventative med.
Bankrupcy is not such a bad thing. Many of my family members have filed for it, and they got credit card offers in the mail a few months after, bought new cars a few months after with good interest rates, etc… It is easy to rebuild your credit. If filing would help you maintain a stress free MAV lifestyle and improve your life, then I would highly consider it if you cannot afford those old medical bills.
It’s not just the accrued medical bills, I was charged $160 just for an office visit last time I went in. So to be charged that again, along with prescriptions that may or may not work, I just can’t swing it. I will have to wait until I graduate and am working and receiving medical coverage before I can go down the treatment path. For now, I’ll just have to deal with the diet and lifestyle.