I am so very sorry. I was concerned about that being the case. I’m no stranger to your predicament. We had a lot of nothing and some near misses. Gave up entirely. After five years I went on Metformin for PCOS. Then I got pregnant out of the blue. Found out the day before 9/11 - needless to say no one cared when I called on 9/11 to tell my family. It was a horrible pregnancy. High risk from day 1. We both nearly died, together then separately. They finally induced early so I wouldn’t stroke out. Then he nearly died after when it took a while to determine my breast milk was poisoning him. Never felt failure like that before. Given our abysmal family history, the fact my kid has inherited both MAV and my spinal issues and my son’s girlfriend is just as messed up health-wise as us, I suggested they procure rather than produce a new family (in several years).
So we were one then done because orphaning my son wasn’t acceptable. 17 years later I moved his girlfriend in with us because her mom’s boyfriend beat her. They were way too young; I’ll square that with God later. Then a year after Bailey moved in, Corbin’s ex-girlfriend Sierra also moved in. She too is from an abusive, though different, situation. They broke up three years ago but by mutual agreement of everyone involved (except her birth mom) she stayed part of the family until she was legally of age to move in. Both young women get along really well. Sierra, the second of my two daughters, has a boyfriend, Nick. He gets along with my son and is a regular at dinner. We’re a big, weird, loving, happy blended family. These girls have never had safety, consistency, unconditional love or a father figure. They are thriving to their own abilities. Now I have three kids. And my husband struts around in the Best Dad Ever T-shirt Bailey gave him.
There’s always hope, though maybe not in the way you expect it.