PS You can be a vegan in ketosis. Itās high fat, moderate protein, low carbs.
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Thanks for sharing, Emily. Zoloft did this to me. My husband and one friend (beside the psych team) are the only ones that know about it, but that is why I went in the hospital a year ago. I was scared that my thoughts would get worse with Effexor, so with my providers, we decided to go as in patient an titrate me up to a therapeutic dose (mav and psychiatric).
Much love to you.
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I wondered if Iād hear from you. Take good care of yourself. You are precious. 
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You are too. I admire your love for life despite the challenges. When I have a rough moment or day, I always think about all the things I still want to do in life, and that comforts me. Nobody said this life trip was going to be easy. I hope you are soon back to a baseline where you are at your best. More love your way.
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I have so much admiration for your courage and just that you continue to deal with all of this every day. Thank you for sharing this part of your story. Indeed this is a place where I hope that people can open up about whatever they need to share.
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Thatās why I shared, apart from the therapy aspect. This is the only place I feel understood. Others need to feel safe to come here to be understood and comforted and comfortable until we all feel safe and known and loved in our special little community of MAVericks. Thatās MAVās gift and the reason this site is so important.
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Molly,
If surgery for the adhesions seems your best bet, I suggest finding a really good uro-gynecologist, preferably a woman. (I have a handful of hyphenated doctors at this point.)
Endometriosis is stupid painful. A pit of lava filled with sharp knives. I spent many nights gasping and squirming around that shit. I still do, but itās different now. Pain is Forrest Gumpās box of chocolates.
Rolfing massage seems to be releasing a lot of my stiff fascia, allowing the muscles underneath some breathing room. Worth a try.
Be well.
Emily
Yes my dr explained after my gall bladder surgery that I would not be able to take in too much fat and boy was he right. I tried the Keto diet and found that I was not feeling too good and had constant gastritis and was taking probiotics to help with digestion. But then I did some reading about the negatives of being on a high fat diet that my liver was being affected and the liver was working overtime so hence the pain and messing uo.my liver. Well I got very sick when I tried it again and had flulike symptoms which was worse. So I had no choice but to stop the Keto diet and just by having a little carbs each day I finally started to feel better. I am now on the Golo diet. Iām hoping that because of my insulin intolerance and being pre-diabetic that this will help me lose weight. Iām doing this to see if I can lose this horrible weight I put on from all the stress Iāve had this last six months because I am taking care of everything for my father who is in his last stage of Denentia. A very wasting disease. And hes on Hospice and in the decline phase. Iāve had such financial crises where Iāve had to come up with alternatives that Iāve gained more weight from the stress hormone. Iām turning 62 next month and will be officially retired because Iām applying for my Social Security benefits. Iāve bo choice because Iāve not had any income since Dec. And ended up having to sell my car too. All to pay for homecare for my father. Iāve made sacrifices. And itās taken its toll. My health and because of my Vestibular disorder and the vertigo that Iāve fallen twice in one month. That really scared me because now Iām considered a fall risk. Thank goodness we have a live in aide who was here both times. Scared her too. So now I have to use a cane whenever I go out. My knee pain has been very bad sometimes. I have not been able to do much at all and been very frustrated. I got off my diet a while and well self pity is the destroyer of all diets. Iām back on it now and feeling a bit better. Iām afraid to go on an drastic diet so doing this with a non GMO diet and watching the intake of any foods that will cause inflammation. Lower salt and because Iām prediabetic Iām following a type of diet that is advocated by Mayo Clinic. It is for those who have medical conditions that needs more care and need to be on s diet that is lower fat and non GMO and low sugar. Iām praying this will start to work for me. Iām also Hypothyroid. And that prevents weight loss so on daily meds for that too. Iām trying this Mayo Clinic diet and good recipes and itās normal food. Not foods from Nutrisystem that wasnt good for me and I became very sick on that diet too. So that diet wasnt good. Tried Slimfast Keto and gave that up and then the last one that caused palpitations and shakes. Too much caffeine. So now on the Mayo Clinic diet. Partially. Cause Iām doing the one shake in the morning. And fills me up until lunch. Iām actually feeling a bit better and more energetic. Iām able to get up and do more. But still tire easily. That is probably because of my thyroid being out of whack. Anyway Iāve had problems with diets since I turned 60 and cannot afford to gain much more weight because I dont want to end up with heart disease or Diabetes. Both running in my family. So Iām scared. But trying hard to not gain more weight. I believe if I lose weight then my vertigo may get better and have less falls. And can get into an exercise program. Trying to get PT for my injured knee. Thatās priority so I can walk again without a cane. Iāve had three bad falls in the past year and half. Broke my elbow the first one in a parking lot. The vertigo and losing my balance caused that fall. Iāve been unable to get surgery or PT because of no insurance but now Iām back on Medicaid. And have a PT center right down the street. And have to go back to the Clinic dr I had. Another thing Iāll have to do is get checked for potential cancerous condition that hits obese women like myself. Cant ignore it. Had surgery last year and they told me that I have a condition that is precancerous. That is something I need to follow up on. So thatās next. Another incentive to lose weight that will help that condition and not be in danger of becoming cancer. The alternative is more surgery Iām not ready for yet. My family doesnt know thos. Dint want to worry them. I cant be away from my father now so I wont do the surgery until I absolutely have to which would be an e tire hysterectomy plus removal of anything else if any evidence of cancerous tissue. Iām not afraid of that as much as the Diabetes that killed a few family members and one who was my age. She too was a caregiver to her mother. Iāve taken care of both parents but now only have my father. Iām praying that right now I can stay healthy to take care of him and his affairs. Iām very concerned how Iāve gained so much weight in a short amount of time. Have to get my bloodwork done again. See if my thyroid is lower and need higher dosage of my Levoxyl. Well good luck to you and others who struggle with Vestibular Migraine and Vertigo like me. Gaining more resolve and strength as I get older. Acceptance was hard at first 4 years ago when I was diagnosed with MAV. Iām now past that and now after these falls Iāve gotten rid of those barriers and fall proofed the house. I dont go upstairs either because thatās too dangerous with my dizziness I still have from my falls. So nerd to work on my body strength too. Iām staying on Golo too and see if that makes any difference. And improve my physical and emotional health.
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Like MAV meds, no one diet is for everyone. My husband is a raging beast without at least some carbs at every meal. Same is true for our son. I always make a pot of rice or pasta or potatoes to go along with whatever Iām eating. Ketosis is the only diet that ever helped me feel better. I suspect itās the huge quantity of vegetables I consume and the fact that I cook most of it myself.
As I mentioned to Molly up above, Iām trying to avoid more surgery, partly because it just causes more scar tissue (her Catch-22) and because Iām going to need to move my dad into assisted living soon. He has near the end stage of COPD. His Medicaid limits those options. I really feel for you stuck in the caregiver role when you need one yourself. If MAV has taught me anything, itās that you never know what someone else is going through. Also, my prayer list is getting really long. Weāre such survivors here.
Donāt stress about the Medicaid or early retirement. We should have a safety net. Itās not an entitlement, itās a basic human right. You have paid your dues and continue to do so.
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Thank you for those encouraging words. I need to hear them and need to focus on myself that I want to confess that I didnt even pay attention to my need to take care of the first surgical procedure and might not have been precancerous. I waited too long. So I know that I need to pay more attention to my own needs. Iām eating only two meals a day because I cant afford to buy food. And trying to resolve the financial problems and find out recently that Social Security suspended the checks for my father three years ago. I had no idea and he had been getting thru his one bank but that account was closed and when I called them they said they never received that money. So I went to SSA office and they wouldnāt accept me as his Payee representative and I have to still go back with the documentation. Go thru the process all over again. Anyway. I am now selling most of my mothers estate things. And nredthe money to pay for his care and nothing for myself. Just enough food to keep our caregiver who is a life in for just her. I have one major meal a day just for now. Eating more carbs because pasta and rice I have in abundance so thatās what I have to do u til I can afford more. It has been a very stressful time for me. Havenāt been able to let anyone else in my family know how desperate a situation Iām in. Waiting for the cable to be shut off and have given up other things. I guess Iām a bit Depressed but know I am the only one who can keep things going. I am doing the best I can given the circumstances. And still want to find out from his Accountant why didnt he know about the Sicial Security situation. Not happy about that. And I owe him money too. Everyone I owe but can only afford what I can. All I can so until we get his tax refunds. But that which doesnt kill us makes us stronger I think we all are experiencing. I also draw my strength from my family name being Scottish and the family Crest that has the words that have kept me going. Is Faith and Fortitude. So i say that to myself. Iām also a former therapist and draw on all that experience which helps me manage my emotional self and Louise Hay.
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I will pray hard for you and I ask others of faith here to do the same. Perhaps you need to talk to your family about the situation. This is not a circumstance of shame but necessity. You should not be alone. You deserve love and support. Also, perhaps reach out to the church community and the food bank. These organizations are there because of love and an understanding that we all matter. We all need to be both on the giving and receiving end of love and support. Do not be ashamed.
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Wow, Emily, Iām so sorry you had to go through all this. It sounds like your co-workers really care about you.
And I know you were having really good results with the Effexor, which I assume means it must not have been affecting your thoughts at first. Iām surprised because I guess I had assumed that if one of these drugs was going to affect us in that way, it would be right away (and not many months after being on it). Thatās pretty scary, to think that the drug could work well for a while and then suddenly turn against you.
I hope you can find something else that will provide the benefits that Effexor provided, without the negative effects.
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Thanks, Anna. It will all work out.
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I wanted to share the resolution of that fun work intervention with you all - because it reminds me how good people can be. This is from my client. Tim is the department head.
Hi Emily,
Thank you for the wonderful email, I think you captured our intent and feelings perfectly. Weāve never really dealt with a situation like this before, but your well-being is all that matters to us. We are a relatively small operation and we treat all who work with us as family, and you are family to us.
I appreciate you taking the time to explain all this to us, education is key to understanding. We enjoy working with you, I always tell everyone who is in the know, that we have the most skilled Hearings Examiner in the business. If there is anything we can do to make your life easier just let us know.
Take care,
Tim
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Hi @julieshaw61357! It sure does sound like you have a lot going on in your life. This vestibular disorder really screws things up, like exercise! I also have early onset osteoarthritis in my neck and jaw, and the pain is exhausting. But we are all struggling to deal in our own ways.
I used to use the meal shakes for weight maintenance, and I was a runner as well! Lol how things change. Those shakes are horrible for me now- soy protein is a killer for my VM. I ordered some pea protein powder to try, then read an article that any processed protein in any form is potential migraine trigger. Im not sure if thatās accurate. If anyone knows of a non soy protein powder or drink that wonāt trigger migraine, let me know!!!
Iāve been reading about the autoimmune protocol diet. It looks good, but so restrictive. I honestly think that for me, being able to retire early will help so much. I get up at 4am to commute 1hr, work, then commute back home. Husband travels, so Iām cooking dinner, laundry, and trying to control a 15yr old. Just a few more years!!!
Thereās a storm on its way in tomorrow. Thus I woke up this morning with my jaw completely locked. Has never happened before. I was told I had TMJ and it was contributing to my VM symptoms. Boy oh boy am I a believer now. I had screeching tinnitus same side, and muffled hearing. I am absolutely convinced a subset of us has structural problems.
Anyway, I also wanted to mention that Iāve been reading a lot about staving off diabetes with strength training. And it doesnāt have to be intense. Lighter arm weights, squats whatever is resistance training. Even if one is bed bound, there are exercises.
I hope your knee is better soon. It sucks, all these health issues. I fell too last summer and hit my forehead. By some miracle, I was not injured badly and it did not seem to trigger migraine. But it did screw up my neck more. Ugh.
I think we all deserve a year away at a health retreat!
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Yes you are right. Iāve struggled ever since a man in a. SUV was not paying enough attention and in a split second I in my smaller lower slammed into me on the driverās side and only because I turned the car to the right. That literally saved my life but the impact caused my head to slam into the side of the car and struck metal hard that caused extreme pain and because of that and a concussion and damaging my inner ear that I have a permanent fistula that has brought a halt to so much. I was filled with a lot of anger for a long time and I kept my condition a secret from my employer for almost five years but I finally had to admit and confess to my employer and the stress of the job became too much that I had to leave my employment. At the same time i was faced with difficulties at home with my mother falling all the time and too many hospitalizations for health issues. I decided along with my own worsening condition that i had to retire. At that time i finally accepted my fate and that I needed to find out what was causing my dizziness and vertigo. I found an excellent specialist whom I had seen years before after my car accident 12 yrs ago and thatās when I was diagnosed with MAV. I was hugely relieved and I started Vestibular rehab but I managed to injure my ankle and foot. And that stopped the rehab. My condition was causing more falls. And ultimately a couple years ago I ended up having the worst fall and turned around too quickly and down I went. Hitting my right elbow and that caused me to break my elbow. That has taken a long time to heal and recover. Iām still struggling and hadnāt been able to exercise too much and have used my arm with only 70 percent use. I cant bend my arm properly and cant do the things Iāve done with my right and I not only lost the ability to write with my right hand that I could no longer play thr piano that was my saving grace and loved playing it cannot any longer. That part of my life is finished. I sold my motherās piano after she passed. Iāve also not been able to write well. That bothers me much more. My arm gets too tired after a while. So my life has once again been limited. I can text though and can type on my laptop. But I am trying to lose weight so I can enjoy somethingās I used to before my fall. And get into better shape. I used to do so much more before my accident. Dancing. And going shopping. And taking long walks. And riding a bicycle. All these things Iāve taken for granted. My dizziness does not let me do what I want. I think I miss doing those things but fear keeps me from doing things outside the house and since my falls I cant walk without a cane. Feeling old and a feebleness I never thought Iād reach so soon. Iām praying my knee will recover fully and hoping my life will improve. I will check out other diet drinks and start doing some strengthening exercises.
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@julieshaw61357 Iām so sorry to hear all of that! I will keep you in my prayers. I completely understand the pain issues, but even more so, that fear of falling with the dizziness/imbalance. Especially when youāve already had falls. It makes it hard to get out and about. I have an elliptical at home. I restarted very, very slowlyā¦ Itās good in that itās in my house, and Iām holding onto handles. I go walking outside too, but I make my husband come in case I get dizzy. I agree, itās very depressing to not be able to do what weāve done before!
Thank you for sharing. It takes great courage to show vulnerability. And well done going off the meds. Detoxing from antidepressants is hell on earth. Iād much rather suffer the MAV symptoms, as horrible as they are, than get hooked on another antidepressant.
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Thank you.
Ever since I started Effexor Iāve had nightmares every night. And waking up was like coming to from being drugged. This morning I realized how pleasant my sleep was the last couple of nights and I wake up easily and refreshed. What a gift. 
I donāt know where baseline will be, but right now Iām glad I took this step.
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My words for you I canāt even picture because it would honestly be too much; Took in your post and Iām just shocked. Iāve always seen you as a fighter and to be entirely that close to breaking down completely (death), but still fighting, just shows me youāre still a fighter even when youāre at your lowest low.
I havenāt been visiting the board much lately because sometimes it wears away on you reading about everyoneās ailments beating them down when Iām also dealing with my own struggle(s) (I hope that doesnāt come off as mean or crude), but Iām glad my first click for coming back was to see your post in my email as a āBrief summary since your last visitā and read about you because I wouldnāt want to lose someone like you or most obviously you. Youāve always had your hand out in time of need or even as just a simple hello (which lifts spirits even being acknowledged)ā¦
Iām very glad your customers and workers are in true support of youā¦ Also, your situation is what scares the bejesus out of me of why I will not start up a med even when everyone says ājust try it and seeā, since I just endure what I can āsoberā without meds. Each month I make small little progressions. I honestly hope the same for you as well even with your many other ailments which is a battle in itself.
Godspeed, Emily!
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