Thank you Emily this touched me so much and brought tears to my eyes you are an incredibly strong woman. Only us MAVāers get this mav life and we are stronger together !
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You all are the best family Iāve ever had. And I have missed you Space Cadet. (@Space_Cadet) Take care of yourself, love. Weāre all in this together.
I love you, too Amy (@Amylouise).
I canāt go killing myself. Who else would appreciate my vast collection of silly socks? I like these particularly for days when I just know the public meeting Iām in will be a shitfest. (I didnāt even bother to tell you guys about the 2nd worst thing that happened last week - after the City Administrator basically went all cowardly lion, I had to be the point person for a deeply unpopular city rezone process as 150 angry people yelled and cat called from the bleachers for three and a half hours. You should see the truly creative nastiness theyāre saying about yours truly on social media. Itās my fault for asking what they thought and trying to get some useful feedback from a group that mostly just wants to enjoy being outraged and angry without bothering to learn any facts or engage in any meaningful way. Iām not the developer, just the city planner whoās job it is to process the proposed code amendment. Yes, Iām a city planner some places and a land use judge (a hearing examiner) others. I was scheduled to do it all over again tonight but we had a measles outbreak and postponed everything until the unvaccinated folks are done being sick. So, thatās lucky. 
)
Iām going to wear these tomorrow when I go back to the scene of last weekās intervention where I will be in my examiner roll. In addition to the potential for a substantial amount of AWKWARD, this time the fun includes scores of truly livid parents who want to shut the local school district down on an application to install a modular building. The district is consolidating to save money. That means the little kiddos will be on the bus 90 minutes ONE WAY. Woof. Iād be pissed, too. Unfortunately for that group, my decision criteria donāt include busing - just setbacks, utility placement, disability ramps, parking. Iām going to breeze in, listen to the zoning discussion, close the hearing and then announce the room is open until four pm. Then Iāll flee the scene leaving behind the representative of the school district and his/her deeply peeved hoard of constituent parents. I have another yell-fest at 6 pm in a town four hours away so I gotta scoot.
Yes, I chose this profession. And I love it. Not too MAV friendly though.
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Love the Sisyphus sock
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You know who it is! Hardly anybody ever does. My college education produced in me a never ending fount of useless arcane knowledge.
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I want to share with you all the beautiful resolution to all of this.
I went back to my client today. My friend was so embarrassed about how it all went down. I told her I had been embarrassed, too, but Iām not now. Iām grateful.
On the one hand, I feel so loved and accepted. Accepted as a knowledge worker with MAV. Accepted as a member of the family. We both cried a bit and hugged and laughed and hugged again.
Then I told her about this post and how it has nearly 300 views. I told her about the love, support and camaraderie we share, how by bringing something so dark and vulnerable into the light, we all get to stop hiding and feeling alone and afraid. We get to be free and get to be stronger together. I thanked her for placing me in the position to be the conduit.
I feel so blessed. Thank you MAVericks.
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So youāve been having a bad time and someone exaggerated your symptoms and called for help?
Yes, in a TL;DR, synopsis that misses the point sort of way.
This is an edit a good week or more out. Obviously, this isnāt going to leave my head, and I know better than to engage, but Iām going to anyway.
The point of my first post wasnāt to whinge about somebody overreacting. The point was to bring up that even the strongest, most optimistic and sanguine of us when faced with a disabling vestibular disorder will find ourselves in a dark place sometimes. The point is to bring that darkness into the light so that we may heal as a community - mind, body and soul. A support group should be here for all aspects of our experience.
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I felt the same way in the beginning. My symptoms were so bad I didnāt feel human. I really was afraid I might hurt myself. I had no choice but to reach out to my family for support. Super religious parents told me I was listening to Satanā¦lol Really?. So Iām evil because Iām tired if suffering? I could go on and on about the negative feedback I received while getting a proper diagnosis. I was told it was my fault by my own family and I did something to cause this bullshit.! 
Other people that have never experienced this just donāt get it. Iām better now with verapamil 60 mg and prozac 60mg. Thereās still room for improvement but I still have those horrible thoughts on bad days.Theyāre directly related to the intensity of my symptoms. The best advice I can give you is to find a good drug regimen works for you. Stick with it and things will get better.!
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Hi Marie and welcome. So sorry you have been through such an experience with your parents. You will find plenty of people who come here for support their family members are unable to offer. Here you will find people who truly understsnd. I am so glad you have now found drugs that help. If you check out @flutters personal diary and other posts you will find she too has now done likewise. As they say. This too shall pass although sometimes it doesnāt seem like it and often it takes an extremely long time before things start to improve. Helen
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Welcome Marie.
Youāre not crazy. This is very real. Itās a physical disorder.
Itās not the devil. My background is also very religious. I have a couple of obnoxious thoughts on your parentsā reactions. Using the devil as a bogeyman and an excuse to not recognize real suffering is inexcusable and patently on the wrong side of Jesusā teachings. If they can believe in something they canāt see like God they can believe in MAV. And it wasnāt the devil that tested Job or Paul or Jonah or Moses ā¦ End of angry screed from a PK.
It does get better but it can take a long time. Weāre here for you.
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Thanks so much for your support. Iāll read your diary. Itāll probably sound so familiar that it will feel surreal.
Iām sorry if I offended you. Iām touchy on the subject.
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No. Youāre fine. Itās my first time posting and Iām just getting the hang of itā¦ Donāt no why they kept that other stuff up. Lol. I was just trying to edit a mispelled wird. Thatās all. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
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āChronic illness is an extreme sportā THIS is genius. Perfect comparison.
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