I am totally frustrated! I am an overachiever who has always been able to accomplish things with hard work and determination. This migraine thing and all of the conflicting information out there in the world is kicking my a**! I have been fighting this since October; I know that is a very short time compared to some of you, so I apologize if I am being a whiner - I just need to vent. I’m trying to do all the right things with my diet and prescribed meds while listening to my body, but I can’t seem to find a consistent pattern. Ugh!
I am stilling working full-time if you want to call it that. I have taken a lot of sick days, which is unusual for me, and when I am there I am not working to my usual level. I took this week off to try to get some work done around my house since my housework has suffered miserably through all this. It takes all the energy I have and then some just to survive through a day at the office. I was hopeful that the Topamax I added to the Verapamil 10 days ago would be helping enough to get me going. Well, the opposite is true at this point. I’m not really blaming the Topamax, but I’m feeling like I did back in the beginning with the dizziness, confusion, and a myriad of other symptoms. I think I moved up on the Topamax to 50 mg too fast even though that is where my neuro wanted to start me, so I skipped a dose last night. I feel slightly better today, but who knows if it is from skipping the dose or something else. I’m trying to figure out what to eat, but the migraine diets that are on the web and in the three books I have are contradictory on some of the foods, so I don’t know what the heck to eat.
Since I got my diagnosis and knew I didn’t have some life-threatening disease, I have been optimistic that I would find a way back to at least close to normal. I believe my optimism cracked yesterday when I couldn’t subtract 7 from 24 without a calculator (thanks to the Topamax I think). I am a CPA! They should take away my license. I have to teach an accounting class at a community college tomorrow night. How in the heck am I going to do that?
I just wish I had enough confidence in one specific diet and one specific medication to stick with it no matter how I feel knowing I will recover in the end. Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be a magic pill or a magic diet. Too much trial and error and too much impatience on my part.
Thanks for letting me vent. Any advice for getting through the down times would be appreciated. Also, how do you convince yourselves to stick with something such as a med or a dietary restriction when you don’t see any benefits right away? Or, as in my case, feel worse. I may feel worse because of other triggers (hormone, seasonal allergies, etc,), but it is so easy to blame the new med.