Looking at Pictures

Specific Illnesses & Conditions VM/MAV
1

Hi Everyone,

Since dealing with this dizzy condition for many years + i have another chronic condition that i try to manage on a daily basis…i have noticed that when pictures are taken and shared with me i can see the pain, frustration and sadness in my face …sometimes in certain pictures…especially if i have had a bad couple days. I also look tired in some pictures. I realize i’m middle age now so can’t expect to look as youthful and spunky when i was 30…but i was wondering if anyone of you notice these things when looking at yourself in pictures? Also…do you think that your dizzy/anxiety chronic condition has aged you? I think in some ways it has aged me a little…although people tell me i look younger than what i am.

Joe

2

If someone took my picture right now and showed it to me, I just might throw up. :lol:

Heather

3

Joe, that’s a great question, but my first response was just like Heather’s. Picture?! You have got to be kidding! I wouldn’t even go to the door for a year - anybody would think I was a lunatic!

I used to tell my husband I looked like Wilson.

But I’ve learned to cut and color my own hair, and i have the energy to take care of myself, so I would say I look more like a female version of the wiser, but weathered, and saddened Tom Hanks on his way back to civilization - I’ve definitely seen too much.

BTW, don’t you think that FedEx has gone downhill since he left the company? :slight_smile:

Julie

4

Here’s Jules[attachment=0]bikerMama.jpg[/attachment]

5

Here’s Me[attachment=0]Bad Hair Day1.JPG[/attachment]

6

Nah, here I am

7

Too funny!!!

Seriously guys, I think we should start a thread where we can post a photo of ourselves if we want. (Of course, we’re all gonna post old pics of ourselves before this crap hit :roll: ), but still, I think it would be cool to have a face to put to each of us. We all talk enough, dont’cha think it would be good to know what we all look like ? )or used to look like???

I’m being serious here… :shock:

Kim

8

I think it’s a great idea - I’ll go first if you guys will join in. i’ll find out what you decide in the morning. i promised myself an early bedtime tonight. I think Topa is robbing me of some sleep.

see ya!

9

I will if you will Jul !!!

Come on you guys !!???!?!!?!!!?!?!! :lol:

10

— Begin quote from “Julie”

Nah, here I am

— End quote

you are a vase with a face? :mrgreen:

11

— Begin quote from “AZdizzy”

Seriously guys, I think we should start a thread where we can post a photo of ourselves if we want.

— End quote

Oh okay, you talked me into it.
But this is when I was really thin.

12

My future husband :smiley: [attachment=0]Josh Lucas.jpeg[/attachment]

13

Kim,

Nobody else is going to bite, it’s you and me. Jen would do it, she’s just out having too much fun in her new-found Topa life. Judy would do it and if she wouldn’t I would post that pic of her dancing on the table myself :mrgreen: )

So back to Joe’s original thoughts about this thread, which we mutilated in our jesting, sorry Joe, yes, this illness has been a shock to my system on all levels, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I never in my wildest dreams thought anybody, and certainly not me, could be this sick and live through it, in fact, be this sick and not even be in danger of dying. The symptoms have been horrifying, to say the least and although I am thrilled with my progress, the thought is never far from my mind, “how far will I progress? how will I age? will there be an old people’s home for MAVer’s? and will i have to enter it as soon as my husband is gone? (he’s 12 years older than I am)”

What a life changing event of the year, huh? I remember years ago being handed a book after my baby sister was killed in a car wreck called Necessary Losses. It talked about the growth process and how an essential part of it was grieving one loss after another. We have all lost so much and it’s appropriate to grieve it. Joe, it’s good that you noticed the sadness on your face - i’ll bet a lot of people would not have wanted to see it.

When I said at the end of my first post in this thread that “i’ve seen too much” i was referring not only to the shockingly horrific symptoms (like Heather used to say, “Who made up this insane illness?!”) but also the depths of the depression it brought with it. You think Topamax packs a punch? Think what you will of homeopathy - the homeopathic remedy i was given to cure my dizzies took me to hell and back. Scott knows what I’m talking about. T.S. Elliot knows what I’m talking about and nails it in his Four Quartets. William Styron, author of Sophie’s Choice, nails it in his own way in his book Darkness Visible.

So, yea, I’m real sad, I’m weathered, I’ve seen more than i ever wanted to see in this life time. But here I am.

Thanks for the thread, Joe.

Kim, I guess we’ll have to settle for exchanging pictures via email. I’m game.

Julie

P.S. I know I keep telling that story, but this is my therapy group :cry:

14

What? You didn’t like “me” in my bikini? :mrgreen:
Some lurker might think that was really me. Lol.

Heather

15

THAT WASN’T YOU ???

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Years ago a guy friend of mine sent it to me, since he knew my warped sense of humor.
I used to send that horrific thing to guys online just to see how gullible they were.
I can’t be dead yet, I haven’t lost my sense of humor. :mrgreen:

Heather

17

Thanks so much Everyone for your input. Basically…before this dizzy monster became Chronic and i was still in relatively good health…i remember in my 30’s i would on occasionly discuss with friends about getting older and i recall saying…“I really just want to age gracefully”…but now that i have passed the 50 mark and dealing with this stressful condition for so many years(15 yrs)…i look in the mirror and view current pictures and i don’t see myself aging gracefully. But at the same time…people tell me all the time i don’t look my age…and that i look good. In some pictures i see the pain & sadness that i have gone thru…so it’s hard for me to see that i look good…i hope you guys understand what i’m trying to say?? It’s like this condition has effected me psycologically and my self-esteem or something??? At the same time i have proved to be a Strong person. Many people that i know…i don’t believe they would have had the strength to manage it.

Thanks again…Joe

18

Hi Joe,

Even without a picture, I know the effects are on my face.
I don’t even feel like the same person I was a year ago.
The spark is not in my eye like it always was and the mischievous grin is gone.
I will say, I have brief moments like today when I went for a walk and smelled the air with my eyes shut.
The temperature was about 71 and I appreciated such a simple moment like never before.
At that moment, the ground wasn’t bouncing nor was there motion in my head or pain in my neck.
Gee, a whole moment. Aren’t I “lucky.”

Yet I went into Best Buy today (dumb) and put on my reading glasses to read the back of a CD and all hell broke loose.
I am so tired of the rollercoaster everyday. I could have a good moment and then be in hysterics another moment.

Hugs

Heather

19

Hi Joe-

I just had a big “slap in the face” moment. I just emailed Julie some pics of me, and I ended up sending a couple taken right before my “big crash”. Honestly, I look at photos just recently taken of me, and they made me cry. Like you said, I can honestly see the pain and saddness in me. It was a bit frightening, but more than that, very sad.

I will agree with you Heather, because looking at pics of me now, the “spark in my eye” is gone, and there is almost this “haunted” look about me, even though I am much improved over what I was.

Joe, you are right. We are all strong people. Each and every one of us, for enduring the things we have, and continuing to do so. To be honest, I’ve never considered myself to be a strong person, but at the same time, I can’t really say I personally know anyone who could make it through the things MAV has tossed at me (other than the people on this board).

So, thanks Joe, because you pointed out something we all need to remember. We’re still here, and though not always happy, how many people could come out standing after all we’ve been through? :smiley:

Kim

20

Thanks Kim & Heather.

Heather…i think you worded it perfectly…when i look at pictures of myself and even looking in the mirror…“the Spark is much less or gone” in some instances. I don’t feel the same either after all these years. I use to have a nicer smile and that has diminished. I know i sound like i’m feeling sorry for myself…but after so many years of this torture i can’t help but feel a little sadness. People say…well it could be worse or you could have a different kind of illness which could be a nightmare?? I realize that is true…but this illness has been a severe nightmare. Unless other folks experience what we have been thru there not going to understand how traumatic it can be.

Kim…like you said we are still standing so that has to mean something??

I hope one day that Spark will return for all of us. Until then…let’s keep the hope alive!

Joe